Batty for Louisville

Far out in the uncharted backwaters on the unfashionable side of the Ohio River lies a small, unregarded town called Louisville, KY. Humbly named for King Louis XVI of France, today this town is better known for its own brand of local royalty…

… and “the most exciting two minutes of sports.”

Turns out, securing a slot in the Kentucky Derby’s starting gate is easier than you might think. All you need is a dedicated jockey…

… and a wicked fast horse.

Then just wait two minutes, and you too can enter The Winner’s Circle.

Make no mistake, this is a glorious place to be. But after a day playing the ponies, we grew weary of it. The two minutes of heart-stopping action isn’t worth the many dull hours of waiting around between starts. So we poured all of our winnings into the bus and braved the cross-town traffic to take in a spectacle so dangerous, so action-packed, that, like driving, we call it our National Pass Time. I’m speaking, of course, about baseball.

Specifically, I’m speaking of the Louisville Bats, Triple-A heroes extraordinaire. They put on a winning show. And even though we had to break the bank to get there (fuel prices being what they are today), we nonetheless dug a little bit deeper to get the raw crude that would eventually be converted into another full tank of gas.

That was a long stretch for a punch line, I know. But when you cheer, cheer, cheer for the home team, you never want to go home.

Because it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game.